Beautiful words

Back where we belong

Can you take me away from it all? Shall we go walking along the beach holding hands? It is cold outside and I need your warm hug to keep me safe. Take me away like you used to do. I am here, where you left me, where you first met me. Nothing is the same, nothing will be.

I am here but you are not.

I am nowhere and you are everywhere.

Image taken at the beach Elaionas of Aigio, Greece on 24th July 2009.

MeLLoN CoLLiE aNd The InFiNite SaDnEsS...

Take me down, to the underground

Won't you take me down, to the underground

Why oh why, there is no light

And if I can't sleep, can you hold my life

And I need you and all I see is you

Take my hand, I lost where I began

In my heart I know all my faults

Will you help me understand

And I believe in you

You're the other half of me

soothe and heal...

When you sleep, when you dream,

I'll be there if you need me,

whenever I hear you sing..

There is a sun, it'll come, the sun, I hear it call me down

I held you once, I loved you once, and life had just begun

And you're all I see...

And trumpets blew and angels flew on the other side

And you're all I see, and you're all I'll need

There's a love that God puts in your heart

Psychosomatic (adj): Of or pertaining to a physical disorder that is caused or notably influenced by emotional factors.

I have finally finished packing most of my belongings, although I did give a lot away to friends, charity or the bins. But there are specific things I just couldn't leave behind...

My postcards sent from different parts of the world from dear friends, birthday cards and little but loving gifts, photos from trips and conferences, books and dvds that kept me company, my favourite coffee mug, my stamp collection, my marathon medal. All of these things, of sentimental value, are the ones that identify me, the person that I have become, the life that I lived in UK for the past six years. They remind me of all the love that I received from people I met, the worthwhile time that I had, the long hours of either self-exploration or social interaction. And they are the things that give some feeling of continuity in my life, to prove that I existed, that I lived here, that I met these people and been to these places.

Interestingly, I have been suffering from my legs recently, although I haven't been running or exercised in months. It initially started as a mild stiffness on my right knee that felt as a ligament sprain and made my walking difficult. Then I got a swollen left ankle and pain all along from the tibia to the tarsus and metatarsus of the forefoot. I have been resting for the past days and wrapped my legs in bands, but it doesn't seem to change much. I cannot feel if it's the veins or nerve or the ligaments that actually hurt when I press them. Anyway, I have obviously googled all the possible causes of such a condition, ranging from a plain foot injury (due to over-working) to fibromyalgia, to deep vein thrombosis, to anti-phospholipid syndrome and the list goes on.

I have been wondering if this is a case of a psychosomatic demonstration of my recent unwillingness to make a step forward, to make a decision and move on. It might have been that my stress levels during the past months triggered my immune system vulnerable to injury and my body is now alarming me to build up my defences.


Once, I met a shiatsu masseur who was preaching that all body pain is a manifestation of our everyday problems and healed my back pain instantly by massaging at key pressure points. She said that back pain indicates a lot of workload and too many responsibilities on your shoulders. She was right back then. I read in Wikipedia about psychosomatic illness that 'some physical diseases are believed to have a mental component derived from the stresses and strains of everyday living'. We have all heard this before but in reality it is strange and alarming to see your own body manifesting your own thoughts and fears and enacting your feelings.

PS(1). A new book I have started reading is "Solar", the latest book by Ian McEwan. It tells the story of a Nobel prize-winner physicist who struggles in his fifth marriage by his wife's cheating, loses his concentration from work and then gradually starts to regain his enthusiasm for science and moves on to climate change-related projects. I have previously read "Atonement" and "On Chesil Beach" by the same author and have enjoyed his style, his elaborate descriptions and his rich vocabulary. The scientific background of this current book made it even more attractive to me as I love physics and maths.

PS(2). A tasty new meal that I made recently is stir fry beef with mushroom in soy sauce served with pasta and green salad. Delicious and again very easy to make!

The photo depicts a copy of a Picasso painting as I saw it outside the Royal Scottish Academy in Edinburgh, September 2009.