All I want for Christmas...

. . .  is a loving man, who is not unavailable, who is not afraid, who is not playing games.

And more importantly, positive feedback on my KPIs at work and a bigger bonus for next year!

Intergalactic communication and soy sauce

I often find myself talking to a sleeping man; he is not physically present when I talk to him, it is an intergalactic communication.

Isn't it hilarious how you send a message to someone at the other side of the globe knowing that he is asleep at that time, and he is not physically able, or available,  to read the message at that point in time?  I seriously doubt he is reading my emails at 4am in the morning unless he is a vampire of some sort...

Even more hilarious is that, despite the fact,  you go on and send the message, and go on with your life until hours later when he replies as if it was just now that you texted him. You are probably asleep by that time, and HE knows that, too.

Oh what an anti-climax that is, and the sweetest thing ever at the same time.

Time difference or distance doesn't count when you just want to talk to someone and make your presence felt.

And life goes on with the intergalactic communication...

On another note, if you haven't tried broccoli with soy sauce, then this is the time to do it. I ran out of olive oil the other day and tried soy sauce on my freshly-boiled broccoli. It. Was. Awesome.

I think soy sauce just goes with anything and I am easily entertained.

HBFS: harder, better, faster, stronger

My doctor the other day was trying to pierce through a cyst I have in my eyelid and he said in surprise "Gosh, are you not in pain? You're so strong, how can you not feel this?"

I smiled, thinking that this is not my idea of pain. I have experienced loads more pain than that in my life. I am pretty tolerant to physical pain. But yes, the doctor was right, I realize now, I am stronger than I thought, stronger than the average you... 

Whenever something hurts me,  I spend time on my own to resume normal activity. I already feel better, faster, stronger. You bloody man, you thought I would go down so easily? Pfff, no way.

I am alive and I am here for long. 

Constant incompleteness, part two

I am not being arrogant nor ignorant. But the truth is I still feel incomplete. And yet my life is so full of little moments of action, adrenaline, happiness, supposedly completeness. A checklist of things I did in the past month. Still not enough to please me.

Completed the 42 km of the Athens Classic Marathon route.

Spent countless hours stuck in traffic trying to make my way home/to work.

Stayed at a magnificent hotel for 3 days on a business trip to England.

Completed a 10km race in Athens followed by brunch by the beach on a rainy day.

Spent a night at the Hilton hotel in Athens...

Spent loads of money shopping, shopping, shopping!

Ready to hit the wall

My last run before the Athens Classic Marathon. I was there last year, I am going to be there once again.

You can never tell beforehand how it will feel. You know there will be pain and hope you will make it to the finish line in the Panathinaiko stadium at the city centre. Four, maybe five hours of running? Maybe more? I cannot predict my time as it really depends on the day. I know I will give my everything to make it. Beast.

A hundred shades of grey

Fifty shades of grey is becoming one of the most popular books, especially among women of a mature age or mind. I haven't read it myself yet. I have heard though that the Fifty Shades are a new-age erotic novel series featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism.

I have a Fifty shades story to tell; one of the characters is a handsome, tall, well-built young man in his late twenties, trained as a health economist, from a traditional and wealthy family of academics. He is not career-oriented himself, although he has a good job, but in reality he just enjoys playing snooker, partying hard and flirting. This man is not a relationship type of guy - at least not the kind of a relationship an average woman would expect to have. 

He cannot and does not want to settle down, yet he is occasionally dating a girl or two. He broke up with one of them about a year ago, on the grounds that he was way too irresponsible to be with her; she was a bit older than him anyways.  Strangely, or not, he has kept contact with her with the sole purpose of one-off stands every now and then, for the whole past year, despite the fact that he may be dating someone else at the same time.

Obviously, the lady of our scenario had once been in love with him (and might still be in a way, although she admits he is the wrong guy).  Therefore, every time he calls to meet up with her, she submits in the hope that they secretly, or deeply, share the same feelings (identify dominance/submission issue here). She feels that they share some mysterious, strong kind of bondage and chemistry whenever they have sex (actually feels like making love indeed), and although she herself does not want him back into her life, she cannot stop seeing him. Many times she has explicitly explained that she has feelings for him and wouldn't like to see him again under these circumstances (implying an all-or-nothing situation) and he seems to accept it in good terms. For a while. 

Sooner or later, he strikes back and wants to see her (on a one-off basis again) and of course, she is too weak to say no. So this story goes on and on for more than a year. He is dating someone else and enjoys life in general; she is not dating anyone else and is mainly thinking of him (this should be considered sadism/masochism the least).

In the meantime, this young, successful otherwise (professionally speaking) lady really enjoys the company of another guy or two, with whom she has a lot of common interests and spends worthwhile and fun time as friends (no sex or explicit flirting involved here). Both of these two guys in question are older (in their early thirties) yet quite fit,  with a high professional, socioeconomic status and kind manners. However, on the minus side, they are both in relationships - with one being married. Their relationship/marital status does not seem to deter them from establishing a strong bondage with the lady of our story, often expressing their interest by giving her gifts, buying her dinner, and contacting frequently for the regular catch-up. Knowing that these two guys are not available, she does not and would not jeopardize the friendship by revealing her feelings to any of these two.  Still, she keeps on spending time with them, arranging to meet them whenever possible and secretly hoping that maybe one day they wouldn't be in their relationships any more and they would want her. Again, she does recognize that this is not a very possible scenario, but she is is not ready to cut these two men out of her life either.

Now of all these characters described seem to be sadistic, masochistic, or/and submissive. These three men are obviously playing a game, and so does she, but who of all will be ultimately hurt?

US Federer

Meanwhile, at the US Open, and while Rafa announces another 2-month break to rest (LOL) due to his knee problem, Mardy Fish withdraws (due to health problems) and lets Feddie advance to the next US round of semi-finals. Roger is admittedly a living Duracell and is now lined up to face the ambitious, persistent, yet sexy Czech Tomas Berdych, whom I had the luck to watch live at the London Olympics in the longest doubles match ever...

Batman, batman!

The Dark Knight is so addictive. Last night I watched the newly released "The Dark Knight Rises" starring Christian Bale, Anne Hathaway, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman and others. There's something about Christian Bale that I love, there's somethting about the effects, the cast, the action, the sound...I seriously can't explain or figure out what the strongest asset of these sequels are, but I love them. It is definitely the best of Batmans we've seen. Not Spiderman, not Superman, not Wolverines and Vampires. Just Batman!

You might also want to have a look at one of the ultimate lists of superheros and villains, here!

In too deep

All that time I was searching

nowhere to run to

it started me thinking

wondering what I could make of my life 

and who'd be waiting

asking all kinds of questions to myself

but never finding the answers

crying at the top of my voice

and no one listening

all this time 

I still remember everything you said

there's so much you promised

how could I ever forget...

                                                                                                                                         Listen, you know I love you

but I just can't take this

you know I love you but I'm playing for keeps

although I need you I'm not gonna make this

you know I want to but I'm in too deep...

[Lyrics by Genesis "In too deep" 1986]

Thank you London 2012

I can't stop watching the Olympic Games of London 2012 on TV. So totally hooked to it. I've been watching almost all day, even left the beach yesterday despite the hot temperatures to go watch the women's marathon.

Tennis, diving, rowing, athletics, running, beach volleyball, and swimming have been my favourites. It is so inspiring to see those athletes compete; perfect bodies, immense characters. Huge supermans bursting into tears at the medal ceremony waving their flags, holding photos of their favourite ones.

I will never forget the image of Felix Sanchez crying like a baby while receiving his gold medal;  the image of the Argentinian giant Juan Martin Del Potro wiping his tears after having given everything on the tennis semi-final against Roger Federer (their match lasted more than 4 hours, with the third set finishing at 19-17 games); the image of Alan Campbell collapsing after securing the bronze medal for Great Britain at the men's single scull event. It has been so emotional, so exciting, adrenaline and effort to the maximum.

In total, I must have been in London about 30 times so far in the past five years. I visited for a couple of days for the Olympics last week and all I can say is this: London was at its best ever during this time.

Amazing atmosphere all over the city, great transport, services and organization, friendly volunteers, colours and flags and fans, all merged into one unified Olympic spirit. Thank you London 2012. Thank you for brightening up our lives and keeping the inspiration up...

In a sense, I am in 1oV3 with you

Shit, shit, shit. Not good. I think I am in 1ov3.

 I can't even spell it or say it out loud to myself. It sucks really, cause there is no way of me telling you, and there's no way you will (ever) know. That's bad. 

I even dreamt of you (us) the other day and it was so real I had to open my eyes and look in the room to make sure you were not really there. It was NOT a good idea of you to wake me up just to say goodnight the other day, it made my brain confused. 

Shit, I don't like pretending that everything is fine now, 

this whole friendship thing is just hypocritical, 

well I mean, I do see you as my friend and all, but, whatsoever, moreover, however, 

you know what I mean. 

Why can't you feel the same and do something about it? Why can't you just have the epiphany and figure it all out by yourself? I would travel the other side of the world, or the universe, if you asked me to. Is that what you meant when you asked if I would be coming back? 

Or was it a general question in general?  Is my condition too bad, my doctor?

London street 2012

In absentia

It is the thousandth time today that I look at our photos. There is not much else that I can do here where you've left me. I cannot compete with distance, I cannot win over it, I am not even going to try. I cannot compete with those who are now standing next to you and talking to you on a daily basis, while I am so far away.  I am just the memory of a song, a skype image, a facebook friend, and all the rest is history. 

I am fading away more and more as the days go by and that's that. 

I am going to the bakery to get something to eat cause I'm starving.

A Greek island, 2012

Outside looking in

Fact. You'll get the best time of your life when you least expect it. 

Another fact. You will only realize this when it is all over.

Santorini, July 2012

Out of sight, out of mind?

Sometimes we don't see the whole picture when we are too close. 

Only after taking a distance from it, can we see the truth, the big picture, the whole field just in front of our very own eyes. The trouble is, when we realize that what we see is LOVE, we are already too far from it and have distanced ourselves from the shore!

A train ride

Think of your life as a train ride along the fields that you have chosen. 

Imagine the scenery. Decide where you want the train to take you and let the rail tracks lead you there. You can make a choice to get on this train and you can chose the trip, how long or short it will be. You can either be alone or with people you have selected to become part of your life. 

The important thing is to enjoy the trip, a trip that will be yours. It will be the life you want to lead.

Look out for the rainbow

After a heavy rain, you can see the rainbow, if you look for it. Not everyone will see it. Some people will not even look up to the sky. Others will not even bother to turn their heads to where the sun is shining. 

I went on my bike to go searching for the perfect spot.

I captured the rainbow. It filled me with hope...

Photo somewhere in Greece 2012

Cyclothymia

Cyclothymia, i.e., characterized by numerous extreme mood disturbances.

Photo in 2011 in London, near Old Street

Porque sigo pecando contigo

Photo at Cambridge, 2006

Empty streets

They are right. If you love someone, let him go.

If he comes back, he is yours and he is here to stay.

If he doesn't, he was never yours and never will be.

Give him the freedom and choice to decide if he wants to be with you unconditionally. 

This way you can be sure that he has chosen you over others, over anyone and anything else in the world...

Being sentimental

Getting away from it all messed up

Photo in Innsbruck, Austria

Odyssey

She might not know where her life is going to lead, but she will always have those very many journeys, the skies and the seas, the beautiful sunsets and the wild storms,
the darkness and the lights...

Photo at Suffolk, UK 2010

Get your snowboard on!

One more thing in my bucket list: snowboarding. I wouldn't compare it to any other sport I 've previously done (tennis, running, mountain bike, rowing, hiking, rafting etc). It is a unique sense of its own. It's you and the mountains. You and the speed. You and the snow. You are free!

It's been an awesome experience. A combination of speed, power and beautiful scenery. It takes a lot of effort to balance while streaming down the hill in such a speed but gives the feeling of floating. It takes a lot of energy, fitness and strength. My legs and back hurt, even my forearms are complaining today. But it is so totally worth it and highly recommend it! Just make sure you wear proper clothing, protective glasses and gloves, and be prepared to fall. No pain, no gain ;)

Let it burn

Let me burn into your fire so that I can learn from my mistake. 

Let me give you as much as I have left; take it without even giving anything back. 

Prove what you are, no matter the consequences on me. 

As the song goes, the phoenix from the flame...
I will rise and you'll see me return, being what I am, there is no other choice only to burn out.
But I know you wanted me to be there, every look that you gave told me so. . .
[Troy by Sinead O' Connor]

Photo on a boat to Andros, 2011

The Girl Who Played With Fire

"She had stared at him for a whole minute and decided that she did not have a grain of feeling left, because it would have been the same as bleeding to death. Fuck you.
He had noticed her just as the doors closed and looked at her with searching eyes before she turned and walked away as the train pulled out"

Stieg Larsson

Photo on the train to Athens airport

Bring the champagne!

Here's to the new year, a whole 366 days to make the most of them. 
No more bullshit. Carpe diem!

Photo of fireworks back in Cambridge, 2006