Moulin Rouge and the egocentric one

- The greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return his is a “Moulin Rouge” quote, have you seen the movie?  

- Yes I know and I loved the movie, but isn’t it true? No matter how much you’ve loved someone, the greatest achievement is to be loved by him in return. 

- Get over it, there is the love from your parents, your siblings, your friends. Who cares about other kinds of love? I love you. Is this not enough for you? 

- No, it is not. I guess. Why can’t I be loved? By this special someone?

-  Wait, he is not, definetely not, the special someone. He is just someone. But surely not that special.

-   I love him.

-    No, you don’t. You re just an egocentric person who wants to be loved just because you’ve decided so. You love the idea of being loved.  And you ‘re just too selfish to give unconditional love even if that means you don’t get anything back.

-   Maybe this is the case. But what about all the dreams that we made together? I loved and believed every single dream we made together.

You know I have to tolerate the torture of passing by his house every day to and from my work. I look at his window. He might not be living there anymore. But I keep looking as if he was there, waiting for me to go and see him.  I dream of all the evenings we won’t share anymore. And he might be in there with someone else. But I keep looking as if he was there to greet me. 

Another day like no other

It is my 32nd birthday today and I finally celebrate  back in my home city with my family and good friends. My previous two birthdays were celebrated in London, the other three before in Cambridge, then in Crete, then in Thessaloniki. I haven't been in Athens since I was almost 18! 

So I seem to have achieved my aims, the ones I set last year at my birthday and put into action a few months ago when I decided to move, leaving everything behind. "I would like to go back to Greece and find a job, to be there close to my family, to feel happy at a personal and emotional level" was my last year's wish.

One year later, I have left UK and live near my loved ones just like I wished. I have managed to make a career change from academia to industry and found a job in consulting. I see my baby nephews grow older every day. I have lunch with my parents over a nice glass of wine. I go at my best friend's wedding dress rehearsals. I study for a another degree. I go hiking in the mountains. I am having driving lessons.  Today loads of my friends from all over the world sent me warm wishes, each one of them special, funny and sincere words of welfare. My mother's face was shining when I woke up in the morning and  stepped into the kitchen for coffee. My dad last night stayed up until it was 0:01 to be the first one to wish me happy birthday. All those little things that spice up your life, that make you feel it is worth living. I am almost happy and will keep looking for more happiness. You see, I am only missing one thing that I did't manage to find since last year. And that is true love.

All about her

Sometimes she falls into this isolating depression and you can see it in her eyes how miserable and helpless she feels. You have never seen her cry, but you know she has been because of her swollen eyes and her trembling voice. And when you ask, she says she has had a cold or flu. She unconsciously resists every kind of affection from others, tries to show strong, independent and determined to the choices she made. And yet, she sits there just staring in front of a stupid reality TV show, to kill time, but you know deep inside she's travelling to the thousand thoughts of loneliness. She always has a smile for you that lights up her eyes, a kind word of support and a hand of help when you urge into the room complaining about your everyday problems and trivial needs. She is there to cook you food when you come back from long nights out, iron your clothes when you 're in a hurry for a date, give you some extra money when you have spent all your salary. She has never fallen in love, never been really happy with the man she chose to live with but yet, has so much love to give unconditionally. She is the strongest person in the world, but she never fought for her own happiness. She deserves every good in the world, but never pursued it for herself. She is your mother.