It's not denial. I am just selective about the reality I accept, said Bill Watterson. And what is the reality? What is true? And what is the exact truth that is invisible to me? How can I see the whole of reality? And why am I being selective about the reality I accept? I don't like bias. I am a scientist, damn it!
All I ever wanted in the past year was to finish my PhD and gain my degree. I thought all of my stress would be released and I would feel relieved. I submitted my thesis and had a very good viva examination with minor corrections, appraisal about my work and a job offer! I celebrated and partied, received all the congratulations from friends and family and social circle.
What am I going to do next? I need a challenge. Do I? I want to be happy. I want to have the life I was dreaming. What was it exactly I forgot! I used to say "when I finish my PhD". And now this time has come. Finished. Move on. Should I stay or should I go? Where is "happy" for me? I cannot decide. I can't hear what my heart is telling me cause my brain is talking all the time. Shall I just be intuitive? Shall I just be logical? Well, it is not the end of the world obviously, but this transition from a long student life (academic bubble) I was living into the real-life (career decisions) is really a challenge. Because I expect too much and I don't want to let myself/others down.
So, the system is currently under configuration, programs are being deleted, files are being scanned. The new operating system should hopefully be up and running soon. Stay tuned for the result. I will keep you posted.
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