Being back to my country has not been easy. It does't even feel as being "back where I belong", that this is my home, my people, my place. Nothing is the same. To what I expected, imagined or deserved.
I am not part of the mentality that currently prevails in Greece, the misery, the blaming, the depression, the aggressiveness, the hate. Most people have encouraged me to leave the country again and pursue my interests in Europe or USA. They are right.
They ask what the hell was my good reason for coming back to this mess. Hope. It was. The hope for a better quality of life. For happiness. I don't say anything. My reasons now sound ridiculous and overly romantic, almost surreal, even to my own ears. I don't dare say anything to anyone. No explanations. I just watch them devalue my efforts and enthusiasm. And I smile back.
I have applied to several jobs in Greece. No response. Today I started applying for jobs in London and California. And the hunt goes on. I don't belong anywhere afterall. How foolish I've been. I have now seen what the situation is here and it is about time I realized my move was a big mistake.
I am counting down another 30 days and then I am gone again. No one will notice that I was here, or at least most of the people. And those who did, those who cherished the fact I was around them again, I am taking their love with me, with a promise that I will be visiting every summer. When the sun shines and everything is warm and beautiful...
The photo was taken by me at a shopping mall in New York city, 2009
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